Quite a year 2007 has proven to be. Here are a few points worth mentioning:
- Changed jobs in February to start here at MySpace
- My wife & I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in March
- My father-in-law went into the ICU at Cedar Sinai on that same anniversary
- My father-in-law passed away on Easter Day
Getting to know my family as they are in such stressful circumstances has been the most eventful of all.
The new job added a total of 12+ hours to my weekly commute time. You see, I moved our family out to the eastern outskirts of Orange County in order to be closer to my previous job and in a neighborhood safe enough to walk the streets alone at night (even for my wife). To cope under the strain of a loved one so far away in the hospital, we spent multiple weeks living at my mother-in-law's house to stay closer to everything.
At this time, my family was adjusting to my first month in a new job with the new commute, struggling with the possibility of losing such a dear loved one, and living out of suit cases in my wife's parent's house. This made even breathing difficult. Each and every breathe felt heavy.
My wife's family pulled together and the support was large in size but needed to be spread to so many. My mother-in-law, the three daughters (my wife and her sisters), and the six grandchildren that ranged in ages between 3 and 20.
On Easter day, we began with an early egg hunt in my sister-in-law's large back yard. By this time the outcome of their father was well known, not successful and at the same time completely unclear as to how much longer he would be with us. He was out of the ICU and in a place where his comfort was the top priority which was somewhat a relief for us all after all that went on in the previous month. I took the grand kids to the park while my wife, her two sisters and their mother went to be with him. I received only a single phone update to his status and it was one of the scariest calls I have ever had with my wife. I was driving around looking for another place to take the kids and just about lost my way in a city that I grew up in and have driven through for many years.
Wow… enough of that day, suffice it to say, it was the day he left us. We again spent a few weeks living with my mother-in-law and focussed on preparing the service and supporting everyone's grief.
The most positive thing of all that can be said of this process has been the emotional growth that all of us have gone through. None of us are the same. Allowing strong feelings to come out has become much more acceptable and even expected. Giving time to one another to process has also become quite the routine from day to day.
Loss creates a void that can never be filled the same way again. It does not mean that it cannot be filled at all though. It has been this sort of vacuum effect that some of us have experienced that has us reaching out at times to things we need to draw into our souls. Sometimes it fits right, and sometimes it don't.
Kind of like if you have ever fasted for any period of time, and then try to eat again. Depending on what foods are around you or how far your are willing to travel, you focus on filling up again. This can lead to you feeling sick until you get the balance right. The right ingredients and the right amounts.
Well… I can't say that we all have got the mix just right yet, but each of us in our own time and way are trying to make that happen.
I do not do much blogging anymore, but had a moment to reflect and felt this blog would be the best fit.
As for 2008…? I intend on making *** work. Things break (not just on MySpace) and I just cannot let it go without a round of serious troubleshooting and fixin'. I will also try my derndest to quickly identify when it ain't something for me to fix and move along. After all, time is too precious for me to be wasting it on fruitless ventures.
Happy New Year to you all and may 2008 fill you up without making you sick!