Here comes the sun… dee doh dee dah

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Oct 042008

Here comes the sun Things have taken such a positive change in my life recently and I just wanted to share that tidbit. I felt it deserved more than just a status update. Even more than a micro-blog tweet.

Yup… full blown blog!

So, for those of you in my life that have been so supportive and offered me anything from a place to hang, to a dinner break, to even some drugs that I’ve never heard of (you know who you are)… Thanks!

The road ahead is brighter even though it may get bumpy, but I know that “It’s all right.”

doh dee dah – doh dee dah – doh dee dah dah…

Back to School

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Aug 262008

back to school This is a big time for my family this year. In fact, it is bigger than it ever has been before because we have three out of four members returning to school. Robin has finally been able to return to school now that both girls will be in elementary school. Thing One and Thing Two will be starting at a new (to them) charter school, and this will be Thing Two's first time in a five full day format now that she is entering kindergarten.

It is really exciting and a little bit stressful. The charter school that we found this summer is the closest thing to our desired philosophy than we ever thought possible to find in this country. It has a great community feel to it and sort of brings the village back to the equation (like the proverb of unknown origin says: "It takes a [whole] village to raise a [single] child."). This new school is one of the exciting parts. The other, is that after about eight years, Robin now gets the opportunity to return to school. We never really thought it would take this long because our plans involved only the first child (which was on the way during the planning).

The stressful part… number one would be "the unknown." (interesting article I found in researching this post). For Thing One, this is a new school with new teachers and new… well everything. Thing Two gets the same along with the added "I will go to school every day…?"

For Robin I can only imagine. It was about eight years that I was not in school before returning back in 1999. It was Robin that encouraged me to return and she was the one that ultimately made it a reality. I was one hell of a procrastinator and she did not let me slip by my usual "I guess I forgot…" excuses because she was always there to remind me of cut-off dates and what needed to be done to get enrolled. She then went on to support my bachelor's degree even after our first daughter was born, and double did for my Master's while our second daughter was born. She has a lot to offer the world education and I'm so happy that she can finally get her turn.

So how can I be the supportive one this time around? I will be driving the girls to school everyday, and also take vacation days their first week to be there the whole day. I will be changing my work schedule a bit to allow Robin to get to her class one evening a week. I will also try to provide her space and time to work on her projects.

Writing this blog was a nice experience for me. It allowed me to process the upcoming changes in our household as well as land on some interesting articles and photos online. I'll leave you with one last funny that I came across.

what do you want to be when you grow up?

Needing some Robbie time

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Aug 162008

Not much to say about it, but just wanted to post it and get it out there.

Not sure if I will get much time to myself, but I will cherish the moments that I do get.


Trash Day

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Jul 302008

I just got up and while I was reading the tweets of last night, I heard the loud sound of the trash truck outside. Then it dawned on me. Isn't it wonderful that once a week, every week, all we have to do is roll all of the crap that we don't want in our homes out to the curb and it just gets taken away? I think I've been taking this weekly miracle for granted.

Do you think this process could be applied to our own lives as well? We could discard all of the things that cannot be used, or have gone bad, or emptied and cannot be refilled. Then once a week, get it all out; like to the curb, and some kind of big magical truck could come along and take it all away.

It was just a thought… one of those thoughts you get when you are no longer dreaming and not yet focused on the tasks of the day.

Well, I've got to go, I think I hear that magical trash truck coming now and I've got a whole lot of shit to get out there before it passes and I'm stuck with it in my life for another week. Bye.

Originally posted on my MySpace Blog:

Set them free

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Jul 262008

If you love somebody… set them free.

I have never thought of myself as a captor. I am however really struggling with the thought of not being able to continue my life with the ONE I love. There was never another; not during, and not even before.

She says that we may end up reconciling, but at this time I am the only that wants that.

So why am I posting a public blog about something so very personal? I have no idea. I have no fear of people knowing such intimate details of my life. I have nothing to hide and no reason not to be so open.

that is what I strive so hard to be… OPEN. Open to possibilities. Open to alternatives to what is normal. It is how I have achieved anything worthwhile in my life. I was open to the idea (posed to me by robin) of returning to school after never doing any better than a 2.75 GPA. I was open to taking a chance to work at MySpace even though so much stacked up against it happening. And biggest of all, I was open to whatever would become of a lunch with a girl at a 50's diner back in November of 1992.

so now I am open to letting her go. I recognize that odds are really bad for a reconciliation, but I have no control of odds. I only have control of my hopes, wants, and desires.

For those of you who read this far… thank you. And for all of you who have reached out to me with comforting words… I am so grateful.

As for the right now… I have plans to take a wonderful girl dancing tonight.

Originally posted on my MySpace blog:

I think there’s a leak

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Jul 222008

I have recently begun to notice my love, affections, and efforts leaking. I put so much into it, yet it seems to just fizzle out making that well known farting sound in the process. At times there appears to be some progress, and some of it builds up, but it too ends up escaping as well. I'm getting tired. Even lite-headed. Like blowing up a balloon that never seems to fill. I must once again return to my breathing and find the balance, for this balloon is my life.

Originally posted on my MySpace blog:

What would you do for LOVE?

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Jul 182008

I've thought of this question before, but have not been really tested until recently. I'm beginning to feel that the hard road I'm on may go on for some time. My willingness to continue the journey is very strong. It is my hope that flickers so delicately with each passing breath from my lips. Yet as I inhale deeply once again, I regain balance and continue on this road with the flickering light of hope in front of me.


Originally posted on my MySpace blog:


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Jul 162008

All of them. It does not matter the type of relationship, there is work involved in keeping the balance. Siblings, friends, spouses, partners… all of these have the possibility of harmony, and maintaining/achieving this is both the challenge and the journey of the living and breathing relationship.


Originally posted on my MySpace blog:

Grandma’s Garden

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Jul 132008

It has a natural beauty to it. The colors are full of life. How is this garden so vibrant? It is the love that is shared with it. Clumsy, imperfect care. Children overwatering, overpicking, and sometimes even trampling them. All of this in love. Are these actions mistakes? Or is it all just a part of life? One thing I do know for sure… grandma's garden is full of life and beauty.


Originally posted on my MySpace blog: